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October 23, 2020


Millennial Dating in a politically charged environment

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Three months ago, Elle Stevens sat in her overly-expensive downtown apartment perusing the dating app, Sophisticated Love. Having grown disgusted with the thirsty horndogs posing as Don Juan’s on Tinder and Bumble, Elle was in search for a fella that had more to offer than the status quo. See, Elle was bored from spending her weekdays on Twitter with pseudo friends; weekends at Brunch with golden birthday balloons obstructing the aesthetic views of the restaurant. But the first 20 profiles she viewed on Sophisticated Love were more of the same—boring fellas with bios detailing how the particular guy was close to becoming a rapper, billionaire business owner, or some other vague, status-based goal.

On the (lucky) 21st profile, Elle was immediately intrigued by Mr. Dominick Robert’s profile. On first blush, she noticed that Dominick was a strikingly handsome (paws) fella. Next, she carefully examined his bio, which read: “Nerdy Marketing Executive that is looking for an intelligent belle that I can share my thoughts, days, and curated playlist—featuring some slaps from Katy Perry and Fall Out Boy, a lot of slaps from Hov, and hella slaps from the G.O.A.T, Mr. Kanye West.” 

Stimulated with either horniness or intrigue, her finger, seemingly of its own intuition, swiped right. Within a few minutes, Dominick and Elle were playfully texting. And within a few days, the two were in constant, passionate communication.

For the first time in a long, long time, she believed the infatuation she had for Dominick meant that she was in love. And for good reasons. The dates they shared—yes, at Brunch —were riveting! The in-depth conversations about politics; the shared camaraderie for sports; Dom’s, as she now calls him, eclectic taste in music; and Dom’s ability to think outside of the box had the two glowing.

Most importantly, she loved how they differed in the above topics, believing that their diversity of thought aided the discussions the two shared. Admitting to herself that he was intellectual and her equal, Elle was falling deeper for Dom by the day.

They begin to meet each other friends, following each other social groups on the same social mediums, and basically were in the nascent stages of what was projected to be a lifetime partnership. Dom’s outlook on life, his devilishly looks (paws again), and ambitions made for a heady brew, a brew that had her intoxicated and in love…  But then Dom’s favorite rapper decided to run for President of the United States. Upon Kanye West’s campaign announcement, Elle received a text from Dom, “YE’ 2020!!! WE HERE!” “Yuck 🤮 ”, she responded. “I’ll see you later tonight to educate you on why your choice is stupid, hurtful, and misguided”

See, Elle is a devout, party-line Democrat. And like her democratic party contemporaries, Elle saw the upcoming election as a matter of life or death. Throughout the day, various members of Elle’s social group that followed Dom on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram reached out to Elle to snitch on Dom’s postings about supporting Kanye. Elle’s friends explained to her that “[her] man is wilding. I’m going to have to unfollow this Trump supporter.” “Don’t worry, girl,” Elle assured the snitches. “I’m going to set him straight tonight.” 

When the two met later that night, she furiously scolded Dom with false equivalencies: “You want Trump to win?”; “Admit you’re a Trump fan?”; “Kanye isn’t even qualified. Don’t you see this is a ploy to steal votes from Joe Biden?”

Backed into a corner, Dom calmly told Elle that his choice to vote for Kanye was sincere, borne from his belief that the only way to bring about change is to do things differently than before. Disenchanted with both the Democratic and Republican nominee, Dom explained to Elle that voting for either would viscerally disturb him, sickening him to his core. “Do you want me to not be myself”, he asked. Elle was unpersuaded. “What will my friends think?”, she asked. “They’ll think I’m with a Trump supporter. I can’t believe you tricked me.” Perplexed, Dom responded in a measured tone that he’s “nervous because the pandemic that’s silently attacking and crippling Americans is CTE. See, CTE destroys thinking, and some may not see that electing to not vote for X does not mean I voted for Y.I thought that you would see that, Elle.

Please tell me I’m not wrong.” “You are wrong, Dom. And if you don’t see that voting for a bi-polar individual is voting for Trump then you aren’t the man for me.” Faced with an ultimatum, Dom did what any self-respecting individual would. “Goodbye, Elle. Thank you for the past few months. Idyllic in the beginning, sure, but I think you need to find some boring lad who is a carbon copy of you. That isn’t me.”

And just like that, a promising relationship was ruined. Why? Because dating in a politically charged environment is brutal. Back to swiping for Elle…