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November 13, 2020

Lifestyle

MILLENNIAL DATING IN A POLITICALLY CHARGED ENVIRONMENT (pt.3)

Photo Credit: Mostafa Safadel on www.unsplash.com

(Three weeks have passed since Dom last texted Elle, informing her about his new puppy, Roo. His life is now void of brunch, sex, and spontaneity but Dom has professed to friends and family that he’s taking pride in the fact that his life, for the first time, has become regimented: mornings begin with cleaning Roo’s piss and shit off of the floor, and taking her to the local dog park, and logging hours at work, and exercising to run off the bottomless mimosas consumed over the past months, and spending hella money on puppy essentials .(her healthcare costs are akin to a human! Thanks a lot, Michael Vick!)

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On a rather warm Friday in February, Dom was in midst of walking Roo when stopped by a somewhat attractive woman, probably a generous 7, dressed in stylish gear. This unidentified woman has silver foxy hair, which indicates she is of a mature age. The woman confidently asked Dom, “how old?” “She’s close to 10 weeks,” Dom replied. “But I think she’s in the stage of the Terrible Twos.” “That’s cute,” the foxy-haired, attractive woman quipped. “But I meant how old are you dear.” Accompanied with her question came a sly wink, presaging that this she is a MILF cougar on the prowl. “I’m 28 but going on 50 with her,” Dom politely responded. “Oh nonsense—your entire life is in front of you! How about you bring yourself and the pup up to my penthouse to chat. 

I’m pretty sure both you and her will enjoy the view. I am Leah Feinstein, by the way. And you are?” “My name is Dominick Roberts, and, sure, I’ll bring her up. I just have to stop by my flat first.” “No worries,” Leah responded.  “Just come to PH 14 when you two are ready.” Leah gave another coquettish wink… 

 As he entered Leah’s penthouse, Dom was impressed with the art pieces that hung from her walls, the décor that accentuated her space, and the drapes that give way to a panoramic view of the city. “Wow,” Dom remarked. “Your place shits on my studio.” “I’m glad you like it,” Leah remarked, handing Dom a glass full of a brown intoxicant.  “So, tell me about yourself.” And so, the getting-to-know-each-other process began. To that end drinks were poured and refilled, and the two individuals began peeling back their respective layers.

Dom, for instance, found out that Leah married one of New York City’s top bankers, but later divorced having found out her ex-husband craved prostitutes as paramours. Leah further explained that it made sense why, when her and her ex-husband lived in New York, he was close friends with former-NY governor, Eliot Spitzer. But most surprising (or shocking) was that Dom learned Leah’s meeting with him was not happenstance—it was happily planned.

She explained to Dom that she had noticed him for quite some time. She furthered explained that she began to take note of his scheduled walks with Roo— “the first is at 6am, then you walk her around noon, and your last walk is at 6pm, right?” Dom did not know what to make of this revelation; whether to be flattered or feel as if he was being Punk’d, reminiscent of MTV’s flagship show. 

“Holy shit, you went through all that to meet me! If I had done that, I’d be afraid of being at the end of a #MeToo or #TimesUp hashtag.”  “Well, your generation has social media to stalk; mine relies on social patterns.”  “Besides, the world is for those that know what they want and go for it. I knew you’d be there today, and I knew I’d get a chance to get you in my claws, pup.” “I can #MeToo you”, Dom proclaimed. “You could, but you won’t. Besides, #MeToo is for ugly folks that mislead, assault, and harass. I know this is probably your fantasy.

Admit it” Admittedly, Dom was enjoying the seduction, his mind having subconsciously retuned to the countless entries of ‘MILF’ into Pornhub’s search bar. But he was conflicted because… this just seemed odd. But having been a born-again virgin since his split from Elle, he was down for the deed. And just as Leah began unclasping his belt, a jealous Roo leapt onto the couch, bit Leah’s hand, and deposited her piss onto Leah’s luxury sofa. Man’s best friend to the rescue…